Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
