White coat. Heels.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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