Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
