My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
