Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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