i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
