That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
