i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
