my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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