I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
