ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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