K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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