does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
