So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.