I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed