Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Let's paint friendship bongs
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head