Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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  (616): GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore? http://tfl.nu/fc2z
  Replies (72) Good night (659) Bad night (3132)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

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  (703): I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar http://tfl.nu/9wq5
  Replies (4) Good night (3209) Bad night (653)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah

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  (203): New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah http://tfl.nu/j6rb
  Replies (13) Good night (3355) Bad night (973)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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  (703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32
  Replies (17) Good night (4305) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"

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  (774): she's crying while babbling "all i do is win" http://tfl.nu/5fua
  Replies (10) Good night (3853) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.

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  (330): Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high. http://tfl.nu/m92h
  Replies (8) Good night (3286) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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  (+44): Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips. http://tfl.nu/4kys
  Replies (1) Good night (2371) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.

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  (937): Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like. http://tfl.nu/1ho6
  Replies (14) Good night (1380) Bad night (3507)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.

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  (503): You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want. http://tfl.nu/gyya
  Replies (10) Good night (2037) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  walking out with herpes. that would be worse

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  (701): nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information (1-701): walking out with herpes. that would be worse http://tfl.nu/edgz
  Replies (12) Good night (2670) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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  (907): We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass" http://tfl.nu/blwo
  Replies (9) Good night (662) Bad night (2265)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping

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  (210): Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping http://tfl.nu/by8h
  Replies (0) Good night (652) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.

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  (253): He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina. http://tfl.nu/0nhv
  Replies (8) Good night (984) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink

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  (315): so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink http://tfl.nu/z7su
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!

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  (603): He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state! http://tfl.nu/c11d
  Replies (1) Good night (470) Bad night (269)

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