i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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