We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
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Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
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I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch