Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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