I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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