So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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