Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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