Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
