I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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