we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
