i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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