i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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