What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
