the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Watching her eat just hurts me
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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