You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
