Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
