mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
being pregnant is like rehab
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
