Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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