the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
