She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
