so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My balls are so social today.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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