god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
