I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
