I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
