i jhust puked up my retainher.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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