Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
