I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
