i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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