from now on my penis is your penis
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
