1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
