I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize