there's paper in my vomit.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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