let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
