the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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