well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
