I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
