He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
