I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
being pregnant is like rehab
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
