i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
