Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
never play flip cup with pint glasses
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
