Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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