Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
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Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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