Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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