8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
