is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
