I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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