Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
