Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just found puke in my bra..
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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